Managing your Committee 101: Lesson 1: Scheduling a Meeting with your Director.

The following tactics are designed to help you to connect with your director so that a meeting between the two of you can be arranged. They should be tried in order, because the tactics increase in difficulty. It should be noted that tactics 5 and up have not been tested, and their safety and side effects have not yet been assessed.

1) The E-mail Ask: Simply e-mail your director with a request to meet with you to talk about the dissertation.
a) Describe the objectives of the meeting.
b) Suggest a place of meeting where your director likes to hang out.
c) Offer a range of times for your director to choose from, particularly noting times that have worked for your director in the past.

2) The Phone Call: Call your director in reference to your potential meeting.
a) Phrase your message carefully such that your advisor is not embarrassed that he has not gotten back in touch with you.
ex.: "Hi! I bet my e-mail landed in your trash-bin by mistake. I was calling to see if we could meet to talk about my proposal, maybe this weekend at *name of director's favorite coffee shop.*"

3) The Hover: This move involves hovering nearby your director while he/she attends departmental functions.
a) Silently slide up to your director as he/she talks to others after a talk. If he/she manages to escape, try again! Hover around your advisor until he/she has no choice but to acknowledge your existence. Consider positioning yourself between your director and the exit. Once this move has repeatedly failed for over 40 minutes or until your director is about to leave the building. When this happens, move onto The Tackle.

4) The Tackle: This is an advanced move that should only be used if your director has repeatedly escaped from The Hover . This move involves aprehending your retreating director.
a) After abandoning The Hover, casually enter conversation with students or faculty. Look as though you have lost sight of your director even as you keep an eye on his/her every move.
b) If possible, strike when you are between your director and the exit. If there are multiple exits, strike while your director is near the center of the room.
c) Suddenly and unexpectedly rush towards your director while shouting his/her name.
d) If you director attempts to retreat, do your best to back him/her into a corner.
e) Loudly ask your director if the two of you can meet. This is particularly effective if the department chair or Dean is in earshot.

5) The Babysitter: This move should only be attempted by those with experience in child care.
a) Bribe your director's typical babysitter to "need a night off" when your directors favorite academic is in town.
b) Rush to your director's assistance with an offer of babysitting.
c) Linger annoyingly in your director's living room until your director agrees to arrange a meeting.

6) The Double-Header: This move may be perceived as manipulative by your advisor. Use with caution. The move requires the assistant of at least one other directee.
a) Befriend your directors other directees.
b) Form an agreement to keep one another informed about scheduled meetings with the director.
c) Hover outside the door as the director meets with the other directee.
d) When the other directee pauses in the doorway to leave, wedge your body into the doorway.
e) Request a meeting.

7) The Stalker: This move is of questionable legality. Use only in extreme situations.
a) Take note of your director's patterns. Make a list of places that your director frequents.
b) Go to each one in turn with your dissertation stuff in tow.
c) When you bump into your director, act surprised, but boldly pull up a chair and whip out your proposal materials.
d) If possible, have several directees attempt this maneuver at once. Agree to call one another when the director is located.

Appendix A:
Further Tips for Arranging Meetings with your Director:
-Reward your director for communicating with you. Consider providing your director with treats. Make your director feel special and needed.