Clay...

A few months ago one of the older students ("older" and "younger" always refers to program years...) was playing with some mixed-color clay...she flattened it into these little plates.

Today I came into the office and discovered that the clay has now been smushed onto the door into the shape of a face (one little plate for eyes, one for nose, one for mouth) with a lollypop stick stuck into the "mouth" as a smoke.

I commented on our new officemate, and was told to "look up." There is another round of clay smushed to the (very high) ceiling.

Week two, and we're already regressing...at least we haven't started playing "office frisbee" yet. We almost beamed a classmate sleeping on the couch, and coke (as in cocacola!) got spilled onto my class roster...

Start of my practicum...

Well, I started my practicum this morning. So far, so good. I'm cofacilitating a relapse prevention process group on T/Th and (as soon as my supervisor and I STOP PLAYING PHONE TAG) I will be taking on indvidual clients. I obviously can't talk about the group, but I think I'll really enjoy it...

The organization is HUGE. I can't even find my mailbox on my own yet. But that'll happen ;). And I have a different office each day (as a student, I inhabit the office of whoever doesn't work that day...). I'll figure it out, I'm sure.

Teaching was pretty amusing yesterday...I HATE teaching right outside the department office, though. The faculty is milling around and they can overhear what I am telling the young impressionables ! It feels dangerous. I kept losing my chalk. I don't know, it was Monday morning and I have pms. I was lecturing the history of psych, and I kept writing names and terms on the board, then putting my chalk...somewhere. Twice, I actually asked the class: "Has anyone seen where I put my chalk?" The answer? "Behind you. On the chalk tray." I eventually started to praise myself for finding it "all by myself." I love teaching, though...and I like laughing at myself, so it's all good.

I met with my supervisor yesterday (the campus one, not the phone-tag practicum one). It'll be a good year of supervision, I think...

I have some unexpected time-I got out of my practicum at 12:30 instead of 3pm...I don't have anything till my client at 4:30, so I guess I'll do paperwork like there's no tomorrow ;).

The Weekend

First of all, does anyone know how to stop spammers from commenting in my journal without blocking anonymous posters? And secondly, is there a way for me to actually see the blog of the person who posted a comment? *Already paranoid*

I spent this weekend dealing with the cat. We took him to the vet which was much easier than I had anticipated...I put an olive (he's a weird cat, okay?!) into the back of his crate, which he walked in to try to eat it. I pushed his butt to try to scootch him in the rest of the way, and he freaked out and ran... I then suited up (several layers of jeans and sweats on both arms and legs in order to prevent stitches...), picked him up, wrapped him in a towel, and stuck him on in there. Not a problem.

The problem was getting him to eat the freaking pill! He had to take one and a half pills. The half I just stuck in a piece of cheese which he ate. I guess he could taste the nastiness of the pill, because he then refused to eat anything at all for a full 24 hours. During that time the pill disintegrated...the pill had been placed in cheese in an olive and into his pried open jaws at various points. We have to go back and try to get another one...

I did get a lot of work done this weekend, though...read my stats, read the Freud, and worked on my Readings course. I'll do more of that tonight.

Well, off to teach the history of psych today....ahhh, nothing like disclosing Freud's drug use to sarcastic 18 year olds....

Posting way too much

I should be reading Freud's Lectures on Technique. I should be reading the 5 Stats chapters that are assigned for next Friday. I should be reflecting on my clinical work so that I have some journaling to take to supervision on Monday. But no, I'm sitting here bitching to a classmate and writing in this.

Multiple choice question of the day: If you worry that the APA will question the quality of the grad student/faculty relationships, you should:
A. Send an e-mail to the grad students threatening them if they don't appear to have good relationships with the faculty
B. Sit down with your fellow faculty and some grad students and talk about what's been going on.

I'm just saying!

We had stats this afternoon, which I hate. I do, however, love the professor. This is my fifth class with him, and he rocks. Even if it is icky, icky statistics!

God, I'm tired...we have to take the cat to the vet tomorrow, but I'm hoping it won't take too long because I have a TON of shit to read...

End of Week 1...

Today has been a bit hectic...

Class went well last night....tons of reading and intimidating case presentations. But I'll like the class. The prof is a Lacanian (and my supervisor from last year) so we're of course paying lots of attention to slips of the tongue. And we got to talk about our Oedipal Underwear idea.

The cat "expressed himself" on the professor's book...to which he replied: Well, then, double royalties for me!

I got here at 7:30 this morning for an 8:00 that didn't happen.

The DVD did in fact work, but the freaking volume is set WAY too high in the classroom, and you can't get up there to change it. I had students on desks trying. Eventually a professor showed up and asked if I could turn it down (I had already told my students that it was only a matter of time, and I tried to just show the most relevant clip.) I politely invited him to help me with the volume. He tried and failed.

The discusison didn't go so well...after reading over their written reflections, they were thinking on a pretty high level, but I think that they're still scared freshman and not quite ready for big discussions. Next time, I'll put them in small groups instead. Less scary for them.

Right now, I'm summarizing their reflections into a handout for all of them. Goddamn time-consuming feminist value system! It's so much easier to not care if students have a voice ;).

I ran into two of my students from the Spring (I had 7 last semester) and that cheered me up. Both have changed to Psych majors and said that they missed my class. I really like students!

And in a final piece of good news, the Cult Book Lady came yesterday and I am now the proud owner of $220!!!!!!!! (The textbook companies send us all these free copies that say "not for resale." The Cult Book Lady doesn't care...)

Back to work for me....

Advanced Research

So, I had my first advanced research course last night, with the short, sarcastic, British professor. I like him, although he can be a bit of a bastard.

We're working on our dissertation proposals throughout the course, which means that it is time for me to Commit to a Topic. This terrifies me. What, I ask, is interesting enough to occupy me for the next several years of my life?

So, I think I'm committing to a participant action performance ethnography on the experiences of those with so-called neurological disorders with the medical community. I'm currently multi-tasking between this and my first research memo...my personal experiences, assumptions, goals, and their advantages and disadvantages for who I am as a researcher in relationship to my project.

Funny APA related thing of the day:
Classmate: "Umm, I'm doing my practicum log, and how should I code the sexual orientation of a seven-year old?"
Me: "Latency?"

We have to code sexual orientation, disability status, and race. And we're not supposed to attach manifestos deconstructing the categories. We're lost!

I have been sitting in this goddamn office all morning waiting for my practicum supervisor to call me back, but alas, no call. Tonight is one of those freaking 13 hour days on campus...

For the record, my fight with the DVD (ironically entitled "Quiet Rage" has continued. I got it working on the second office DVD player...but when I tried it out at home (still trying to actually preview the sucker before I show it in class!) it wouldn't read the disc...but it worked in my laptop for a few minutes before making everything crash. *Sigh.*

Tomorrow in class we're discussing the similarities between the Zimbardo study and Abu Ghraib, and also debating the role of psychologists in interrogations...having the video helps a lot. And I'll look like an ass who can't operate a DVD player...

At least I like my students, right?

The Schedule of the Doctoral Student...

Monday:
Teach: 9-10
Office Hours: 10-11
Clinical work: 11-3
Appointment: 3:30-4:30


Tuesday:
Off-site clinical work: 9-3 (after this, I have to walk 45 minutes b/c the bus doesn't go to my site...)
Clinical work: 4:30-8pm

Wednesday:
Clinical work: 8-9
Teach: 9-10
Office hours: 10-11
Clinical work: 11-12:30
Meetings: 12:30-2:30
Class: 3-6
Clinical work: 6-7

Thursday:
Off-site clinical: 9-3
Appointment: 4pm
Class: 6-9

Friday:
Teach: 9-10
Meeting: 12-2?
Class: 3-6

In this schedule, I also have to fit in an independent study (most likely meeting on Saturdays) and supervision both on and off-site.

This doesn't include paperwork, writing reports or papers, studying, reading, etc...

I DO love all the components of what I'm doing. But it's a lot...

The Finances of the Grad Student...

20 minutes until an appointment...

Graduate students don't get paid in the summer. That's just how it is...yeah, the contract that I sign forbidding me to work allows me to work in the summer. But YOU find a 3 month long job that allows you to NOT WORK most of the time...meaning, those pesky weeks when I have class from 9-5 and Clinical work until 8pm. Yeah.

By the end of the summer, it is DEPRESSING.

Yesterday, one of my classmates called down to HR to inquire about our first paychecks:

"Hi...I'm a graduate student in psychology and some of my colleagues and I are discussing things like, oh, paying rent and buying food..."

I put healthcare on my credit card yesterday...it HURT, but ragweed is out and I'm getting sick. I didn't know what else to do...Our loan will be in soon, and we both start getting paid pretty soon...

A little background. Together, we're over $130,000 in debt. That's student loans, not credit cards (although, towards the end of the summer, that gets to be hard as hell, too!). We don't eat out any more. Our cupboard is full of beans and ramen, although we still buy produce sometimes... We entertain ourselves (when we have time to think about doing something entertaining!) by playing chess and Scrabble. Sometimes we splurge and rent a movie. On occasion, we'll go all-out and get Frosties (sp?) at Wendys.

My program pays me, but doesn't provide healthcare. The crappy healthcare that I buy doesn't cover most of what I need, but I have asthma and need some sort of emergency insurance. It won't pay for my allergy meds (which would keep me from having asthma attacks) but it helps out when I have them...

My husband (who is working on his dissertation) has a 2 hour commute to another STATE to teach. He doesn't get healthcare either. After taking out gas, his take-home pay is less than minimum wage.

Sometimes the faculty asks us if we're "taking care of ourselves...."

Yup. We're taking care of ourselves as best we can on $250 a week and 85 hour work weeks...

Teaching fiascos

I have 10 minutes before I have to leave for class...

The Day:
Several students e-mailed me yesterday to announce that the bookstore sold out of the text I'm using. Apparently they ordered half as many as I needed, assuming that most of my students wouldn't buy the book at all. And they didn't believe that I teach and made me show i.d.

So I got here at 7:30 and made copies of Chapter 1. 5 students e-mailed me and I made 10 copies, thinking that would be enough. Nope. After I taught at 9, a parade of students followed me up to the office while I made more copies.

Class went fine, though...I just lectured and had them brainstorm different research methods. And they ask questions, etc...I think they'll be a good group.

By the time I'd finished all the copying, my office hours were over, but my 11 rescheduled for tomorrow. I had a few hours, and thought I'd grab food.

Nope. With all the undergrads back, all the lines looked like they'd take at least 45 minutes.

So I went to the library to rent the video I'm showing in class on Friday...but it wasn't in the right place. I spent an hour sorting through the various drawers of DVDs until I finally found DVD 218, in the wrong drawer. I came back to the office to watch it, but, alas: the DVD player isn't working. *Rolls eyes*

I have Research from 3-6, and I have a 6 coming...

Tomorrow, I will write about the financial woes of the doctoral student...I get a headache just thinking about it!

Welcome to Doctoral Hell

As I begin my third and most difficult year of my doctoral program, I thought that I would begin a blog dedicated to my anti-doctoral rantings.

Here, I intend to whine prolifically as I chronicle the experience of the poor, overworked, Ph.D. candidate.

This is separate from my typical journal for several reasons...my other journal is friends only, which allows me to get a bit more personal in my whinings. And I produce much safe, abstract whining!

Also, I've noticed that undergraduates in general have this (morbid) fascination with graduate school. They want to know what they're in for. And let me tell you, it's one hell of a ride.

Knowledge is power, right?