Reviewers

Now, this will sound narcissistic of me, but hear me out!

I was sitting on the couch reading some dissertation stuff, when I mentioned to my husband that a book review I did is up on the journal's website. I noted that I hadn't look it over yet because I was a little apprehensive. They published it without a revision process, so I'm a little bit scared of this thing with my named attached to it!

Suddenly -- oh shit! -- I remembered that I DO have revisions due back to an editor for an article. And the revisions are due on MONDAY. I go into my e-mail and pull up the reviews. The one wants me to articulate that I am describe the tensions of a borderland, and that it is intentional that I do not describe the steps that I will take to resolve the described tension. Okay. Makes sense. The reviewer suggests a particular article that I read.

The other reviewer only wants one change. This reviewer tells me that I can't use a certain French theorist whose name starts with an F to talk about a woman, because F was a gay man. Ummm....WHAT THE HELL?!? First of all, F couldn't have written a damn thing if he could only write about things written by other gay men because there were not many published openly gay men. Plus, DEAR GOD, the naivete! So, a theory of knowledge developed by a gay man only applies to gay men?

(BTW, the objectionable passage includes a reference to a female client internalizing the control of HER body. That's not allowed, b/c F was not a SHE.)

I had assumed that my reviewers would be much more sophisticated than I am. The first reviewer indeed may be, but the second....wow.

Dear Students...

I find myself compelled to write an open letter to my students at least once a semester. Here we go.

Dear everyone...
To those of you who handed your papers in on the due date...cool. I don't want to say 'congratulations' or 'way to go', because, really, handing the paper in on time isn't going above call of duty. It's expected. Now, the rest of you...the 6 out of 17 of you who didn't hand in the paper and didn't contact me at all...all I can say is: "What the fuck?!?" It's not that I'm angry, it's that, well, I'm genuinely confused. Let me refer you to your syllabus. Every day that passes without you giving me your paper results in the loss of a full letter grade. By Monday, you're all failing. Look at the syllabus a little bit more...see the part where you can rewrite the midterm paper? Yeah. Umm...so, even if you handed me a stream of consciousness on your cat, you still could have gotten an A in the class by giving me a brilliant rewrite. I just don't understand!

Writing a dissertation can kill a blog...

For my dissertation, I have to write up my entire frigging day every day that I work at my practicum. It has effectively killed any desire for further reflection, even bitter, sarcastic reflection. (Of course, my ethnographic journals ahve become increasingly bitter and sarcastic!)

After class tonight, however, I want to bring back my sitcom idea.

Tonight's episode is The Fictional Dissertation. In this episode, a classmate proposes a "fictional dissertation" in which he pretends to run focus groups, and then writesup conversations between the fictional members. The idea is extended, and he "pretends" to write his proposal, "imagines" writing the dissertation, and "fantasizes" defending. Watch as the faculty issues him a "fictional doctorate".

Other episodes this season include:

The Comprehensive Neurosis Exam:
In this two-part episode, watch 4th year students freak out throughout comps. Highlights include students trying to decode "who wrote which questions" by reading each question while impersonating the different faculty members. Pay attention to the freakishly absurd scope of some of the questions. Watch one student make the World's Most Neurotic Phone Call Ever to a committee member.

In part 2, watch students become increasingly anxious as they wait to find out if they passed. In a massive dream sequence, each student has her own version of the comps anxiety dream. Laugh as one student -- mistakenly -- receives a letter telling her that she passed weeks before she is supposed to find out!

Okay, I'm too tired to even be witty...Pathetic!