Babysitting fun

Wow...I initially slipped and wrote "babysitting gun". Analysis, anyone? :)

My work slowed considerably this week, as the professor I babysit for (well, I actually babysit the 23 month old, but, you know...) called last Monday and asked me to watch the baby every day for a few weeks as they move and prepare to go to Europe for 2 months. Then my parents came for the weekend. All that said, I'm still almost done with Intro to Psychoanalysis and am on page 20. Whoo.

Highlights of the past week include:

--The guy who tried to hit on me by telling me that he was "good friends" with Freud. (Yes, I was reading Freud when he approached). He offered to tell me about what he was like. I later ran into him while with my mother in the Whole Foods.

--The POLICE CHASE on the PLAYGROUND. (Beechwood and Fifth, concerned parents!) I was playing with the baby (okay, toddler, fine!) and noticed a cop pulling someone over into the playground parking lot. A guy got out of the van and started to run. I picked up my charge and tried to make the other side of the playground look mighty fun indeed to all the kids. The guy who ran actually did get away. The other guy was arrested.

-- My horrendous spanish is improving ever so slightly. I am increasingly competent in phrases said to and by toddlers. First on the list is: "No se toca, por favor".

--Ask me about my traumatic Thursday afternoon.

Okay, off to read for a bit before my client. And in glorious news, I just double checked and my revisions for the critical psy journal aren't due until July 15th.

Progress Update:

Stay tuned for this comprehensive exam update:

Books re-read: Freud's Intro to Psychoanalysis (just the first 1/3)

Position Paper Status: Page 13!

It's always good to end case formulations with tiny feminist rants....

"The patriarchal culture's commodification of women feeds the Oedipal dynamic – men are to compete to possess women, leading women to take on the position of the passive hysteric who identifies with the men who possess her and causing men to struggle with themes of conquest and inadequacy in obsession. But, alas, that’s another paper…."

Psychology Sitcom

I really think that the psych department could make a good sitcom. Patrick, this goes out to you, because I don't think anyone else reading my blog will know who I'm talking about. (And I immediately get all paranoid that the faculty will find this!)

But imagine...

The Cast:
-The faculty:
-The Walking Penis
-The Fraggle
-The Hot One
-The Lobster
-The Depressed Guy
-The Clinic Director
-The Clueless Psychiatrist
-The Sexual Predator
-The Quagmire Look-alike
-The Overworked Admin Assistant
-Dean Ceasar

-The grad students:
-Due to not wanting to be a bitch, specific graduate students will not be described. However, here's a plug!
-Quirky and lovable graduate students bumble through their training and try to navigate the strange faculty.

Take a look at Season One:

-The Water Cooler: Someone is sneaking in and drinking all of the water! The Clinic Director runs surveilance to discover the culprit.

-The Oedipal Underwear: The graduate students develop a catalog of therapy-themed sex toys. Get your good-breast bad-breast nipple clamps here!

-I Didn't Get The Tickets!: The Walking Penis forgot to get tickets to a concert! Watch as he flips out and starts kicking his desk as concerned graduate students run to his aid!

-The Short-shorts Reign of Terror: The Fraggle wears short shorts. Watch as graduate students fight to the death to not sit across from him.

-Assessing Lethality: The graduate students share a fantasy of sharpening the Walking Penis' head and using him to stab a droning lecturer.

-Breakdown: A graduate student decompensates as the faculty maintains an absurd level of denial.

-The Psychiatrist: Graduate students and the admin assistant fume and engage in violent fantasies as the psychiatrist runs hours late.

-The Site Visit: The accrediting body comes to check on the program. Watch faculty and students crack under pressure. Will the program survive?

-Class Time: Quagmire leads a raucous case formulation class. The funniest episode yet!

-Nipple Ball: The grad students get a toy and spend hour after hour avoiding work and playing. Watch as they try to cover up all the stuff they broke.

Okay, okay, time for me to go work on my case formulation....

Productivity

I've been insanely productive these first few days of summer. I wrote a book review, 6 pages of a case formulation, 5 pages of my position paper, and at least a dozen overdue session notes. And I've babysat, hung out with friends, and gone to a movie with my hubby. If I keep this up, comps will no problem!

Bittersweet...

My last day of work at my practicum was yesterday. I cried. I've worked in this group since August (relapse prevention), and it's been awesome. I'll miss them. I'm glad that they matter so much to me, though. They gave me a serenity prayer gold coin that each person blessed, and we had cake. And I said goodbye to everyone.

I'll especially miss the woman whose group I worked in. She's awesome, and we worked together really well. It's exciting for me to think that I could work in a group with someone like her and be really content. We had awesome post-group conversations, and we both genuinely cared about everyone in group.

I've been thinking a lot about whether or not to pursue academia. I'm so torn. My husband and I can apply as a unit somewhere, which actually increases our odds of getting hired. I could work in a non-traditional psych program, or in a gender studies program. I actually think I'd fit the best in gender studies. I think I can imagine it....seeing clients and teaching classes. (I mean, that's what I do now!) I worry that academia is masochistic. I've gotten really great at managing stress -- I got through this semester without going to pieces OR falling apart (heh, bad pun). Academia is a ton of bullshit. At the same time, it offers a kind of self-expression that I think is really important to my mental health.

I have time to figure it out. And I know that I'm lucky to have a career that has so many aspects that I love that it's hard to choose, and a husband who genuinely respects my passions.

Cultural and Social Diversity: Plea for Help!

I'm going to have to find several places to post this...

But...

If you've ever taught or taken a class in which difference was approached from a feminist, post-structural, post-Marxist, post-modern, or post-colonial (or otherwise power-aware) standpoint, please let me know what you read, what activities and assignments you did, and how they were received.

This fall, I will be put in charge of raising the consiousness of 14 seniors at an upper-middle class Catholic university. I'm looking for suggestions of all kinds.

Conferences...

I went to two conferences over the past few weeks. Both were awesome, but really different. The one was a one room critical psych conference. Lots of critical theorists of various sorts, including many older feminists. I left feeling so much more a part of everything than I had the year before. I think that I've already written about this, but I had this awful feeling last year when I realized that I was radical even for a critical psych conference. This year, all the radicals showed up and I felt at home.

The second conference was an absolutely immense qualitative research gathering. The hardest part was choosing form the array of concurrent panels. I met some cool people, our papers were well-received, and the trip was all-around pleasant.

It sends me back into the "maybe I should stick around in academia" thing. At times, this whole academic endeavor feels like nothing other than good ol' fashioned masochism. Those are the times that I want to run like hell. At other times, I feel so inspired and excited by academics.

A prof suggested that my husband and I apply as a couple to various universities. It makes sense. Those that are into continental philosophy are also into feminist humanistic psychodynamic shrinks. Another student suggested that I should apply for positions in women's studies programs. That would be awesome.

But then there's the whole tenure thing...I've been exploited as a graduate student for long enough. I'd like to not have to fight for survival.

I know that my heart is in the consulting room, but I'm still debating the rest of it.

Summer time-line

So...it's summer.

But, it's the hardest summer of the program. (This might be a strange post, because I'm listening to a session on tape while I type.)

Here's my summer "break": a book review for a journal, edits for another journal article, a summer class, preparing for teaching cultural diversity in the fall, and COMPREHENSIVE EXAMS!

But, hey.

I'm thinking of starting a teaching blog to try to harness more suggestions for the course.

I'm all distracted right now, but I plan to summarize my conference experiences sometime soon...yup.

Good Day...

I've been on top of the world, even though it's the end of a really hectic semester.

I have to cut out five more pages from my presentation -- this is difficult, as I've already cut out roughly 25!

Heh...so...here's my postdoc idea: The repressed feminine in patriarchal religions.

I don't know...I finally feel as though I have enough of a support network of feminism to face the world...I'm a bit incoherent right now, but it just feels so nice...

Last paper in...

I just sent in my last paper.

Now, I have an 8am session, practicum 9-3, then my session, then the department party.

We leave for lovely Urbana-Champaign early Friday morning. The idea is for me to finish editing down my paper late tomorrow night and in the car tomorrow. *Crosses fingers.*

I only have a week left at my practicum. I'll miss group terribly.

When I'm back from the conference, I have almost two weeks to read a book and write a review for a journal....

Then it's time to start on comps!

I'm so out of it...I put the ice cream back in the refrigerator.

Guilty Pleasures

I know that I’m tired when I start to convince myself that Tori Amos is Very Profound. I’m curled up in my post-yoga and meditation bliss on the couch in my sweats with the laptop, finishing off this damned social psychology paper. (Derrida and Disability: Version 4.0!) It’s a pretty awful paper, although I’m surprised that it’s as coherent as it is. I did my “Gee, I don’t know what to write about, so I guess I’ll make it about my dissertation!” standard. One of my classmates said “Disability and Derrida? Haven’t I read that paper?” This, you see, is the new and improved version.
I’m listening to my guilty-pleasure c.d.’s, which prominently feature Tori and Alannis Morrissete. Yup. The music of my disgruntled 6th grade days. And when my mom and I lived in a motel for a summer in order to take care of my hospitalized grandmother, the only c.d. I had with me was Jagged Little Pill. I walked many a disgruntled, lonely lap around Motel 6 with Alannis. Heh. And I remember thinking I was sly when my friend and I were talking about how she’s “high, but she’s grounded.”
I’m feeling all solid and feminist the past few days. I loved the conference. LOVED it. I remember when I used to be so intimidated by older feminists. Granted, this was a grad student conference so the faculty was on our turf...but they rocked. I had this moment of intense gratitude mixed with fear: Thank you so much for everything that you’ve done for my generation. And I actually want to cry, because . But then I’m afraid that we’re losing all that’s been gained, and it freaks me out. (Right now, I feel government agencies symbolically shoving flags into my uterus.) I feel the presence of all of that with me intensely today.
I’m really stressed finishing up, but I’m also really damn content.
It's actually strange to have this feeling during finals.